A New Theme...and Blessings Galore

At the beginning of the year, Jeff and I were trying to think of what our theme for the year should be.  We decided to read through the General Conference talks from last October for our study time together.  We marked the phrases we liked from all of the talks, and then we went through our list to pick out our favorite one.  This is the one we chose: 

"Resolve to find happiness, regardless of our circumstances."  
- Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Two Sundays ago, Lloyd Newell shared a thought on Music and the Spoken Word that went perfectly with our theme:

"While wealth, ease, and other external circumstances may influence our happiness, they do not control it. Happiness, it seems, comes from something deep inside us that we choose to nurture. We determine our happiness. Otherwise, how do we explain why one person "can smile or find balance and perspective amid tragedy and despair, [while] someone else can be surrounded by all the good things of the world and yet wallow in gloom”?... [We] can choose to be quite happy even if our circumstances are not ideal. It means that true happiness is within reach for all of us."

Recently, things in our family life have not been that easy, mostly due to me having to be on bedrest with this pregnancy.  Five weeks of bedrest so far, people.  FIVE WEEKS.  Sometimes I get so frustrated and sad about not being able to do things I want to do and go to places and events that I want to go to.  Most of all, I miss just being able to take care of my family.  I despise the feeling of being so useless and so dependent on others to do everything for me and to take care of Grant. I miss the satisfaction that comes with doing motherly things, like picking up my son to comfort him when he's sad or watching him play outside in the warm weather.  At times I feel like an outsider in my own family...watching or hearing things happening around me and yearning so much to BE a part of it.  I miss being able to cook a good meal and do my share of cleaning around the house.  

That said, there are many things I have learned and my eyes have been opened to so many blessings that help me to see that Heavenly Father truly loves us and is taking care of us.  Even though life is hard, I'm trying to look at the positive and be happier.  Things have been so crazy, but we have seen how we have been led to where we are today.  His plan is perfect, and He will make sure that everything will work out all the time.  

Story time.  Jeff really felt like he needed to take a leave of absence from BYU this semester.  His thinking was that he could do some of his generals through Independent Study classes, get them under his belt, and then jump into his major next semester.  Since he took the leave of absence, he could no longer work at the carpentry shop on campus.  Finding a job took longer than expected, and with no income coming in, we were obliged to move out of our apartment.  Thankfully, Jeff's parents were able to welcome us into their home and give us a place to stay for the time being.  Then, Jeff got a job at Tucanos!  Yahoo!  (He's been doing really well as a meat server.  All of the leads are so impressed with his work and always say good things about him.  Atta boy!)  About a week after Jeff got his job, I was in the hospital with pre-term contractions.  Five weeks later, I'm still on medication and bedrest.  

Blessings:

• Since Jeff doesn't have a set school schedule, he's been able to watch Grant when everyone else is at work.  He didn't have to go through the hassle of dropping classes to take care of us, and he can work on his schoolwork at home and on his own time.
• Tucanos let Jeff have Tuesdays and Wednesdays off of work since no one is available to take care of Grant those days.
• Jeff's family!  I'm so grateful for them!  It has been such a comfort for me to be living with them.  They are some of the best people in the world, and it has been nice getting to know them better.  Jeff hasn't had to worry about cooking every meal every day for us.  When they come home from work, it's nice to have extra pairs of eyes and extra playmates for Grant.  They are always so positive and happy and willing to lend a hand.  As much as I love being independent and having my own space to live, they have been a big help for us through this difficult time.
• PawPaw has also been a huge help in watching Grant while Jeff is at work.  He has recently cleaned (without TOO much fuss) the most poopy diapers, besides Jeff! Grant adores his PawPaw and wants to see him everyday.  My mom and Derrick also have helped countless times and given many hours up to entertain, feed, change diapers, and put Grant to sleep while Jeff is working late.  Really, every member of my family has helped me so much.  By helping with Grant or calling up to check on me, they have been so kind and supportive. 
• Jeff.  This man is Superman, folks!  He has been such an amazing father to Grant.  Taking him to church and keeping him under control during long classes, giving him baths, feeding him, putting him to bed every night, dealing with his tantrums, playing with him....on top of that helping me out, making sure I have food and am comfortable, helping me walk to the bathroom when I'm too dizzy to walk there myself, taking me to doctor appointments, and tucking me into bed when I'm not feeling well.  AND on top of that, going to work, doing the laundry, working on his classes, helping clean and do yard work around his parents' house, and trying to have time to himself as well.  Best. Husband. EVER!!!

There are so many more blessings and things I have learned, but this post has gotten far too long already.  I'm trying harder to look at the bright side and be happy.  Are you?